I'm just gonna let that one hang there for a few seconds.
(one, two, three...)

Okay, I'm back. And I'm here to declare that I love America. Why? Well, because everyone can have a voice, even hookers. You know the issue of video game violence has reached a whole new level when prostitutes are objecting to the immoral nature of the recent Grand Theft Auto titles. That's right. The Sex Workers Outreach Project (SWOP - and no, that's not a joke), a national advocacy organization dedicated to protecting the rights and civil liberties of sex industry workers. Apparently, that includes virtual sex industry workers. The SWOP-USA chapter recently issued a statement condemning GTA for its objectionable content. Here's an excerpt:

"Although SWOP-USA will always be adamantly opposed to any and all forms of censorship, as concerned parents ourselves, we wish to inform other parents of the potential danger extremely violent video games pose to children. And in the interest of furthering sex worker's human and civil rights to life and personal safety, we object to any media which represents sex workers as legitimate targets of violence, rape and murder. Censorship is a blight on the freedoms we hold dear but we wholeheartedly encourage citizens to vote with their dollars by refusing to purchase products which encourage the denigration and destruction of prostitutes. Since the video game Grand Theft Auto accrues points to players for the depiction of the rape and murder of prostitutes, SWOP-USA calls on all parents and all gamers to boycott Grand Theft Auto."

In the mother (or madam) of all ironies, SWOP-USA even goes so far as citing research from the National Institute on Media and the Family. What's next? Will we see Christian conservative leaders like Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell join hands in protest with the Scarlet Harlot, a self-described unrepentant whore? Seriously, Gozer might as well pop his head out of my fridge because dogs and cats will be living together in mass hysteria soon enough. Headlines like this just make my head spin.

Salt Lake Style Sanctimony

We're going to stick with the whole sex theme here and turn to Utah. A few weeks ago I wrote about how Republican Representative David Hoguee proposed a bill that would equate the exhibit or sale of violent video games to minors the same as showing or selling porn to minors; thus, selling an M-rated game to a teenager would become a felony offence in Utah. The bill didn't make the cut back in January, but a revised version of HB 0257 was recently passed by a Utah House committee. It remains to be seen how far the bill will get. Back in December, a California judge blocked legislation restricting video game sales, ruling that it violated the First Amendment. Hooray, First Amendment! Still, Hogue seems intent on getting the bill passed and has no problem taking on the courts; he is currently co-sponsoring another resolution opposing the recent pornography ruling by the U.S. Supreme Court. Hogue, not surprisingly, is a staunch conservative who opposes pornography, youth violence and, of course, gun control. And he's proud to be an American - if you visit his Web site, Lee Greenwood's patriotic anthem "God Bless the U.S.A." comes up. Personally, the song always bugged me - "And I'm proud to be an American, where at least I know I'm free" is grammatically incorrect. It should be something like "I'm proud to be IN America, where at least I know I'm free," or "I'm proud to be an American, BECAUSE at least I know I'm free." Things like this just make my head spin.