Lately, American politicians are giving the Australian government a run for its money by attempting to take over the title of "strictest video game legislators." Rap music, heavy metal and violent movies have all taken a back seat to the current whipping boy, video games. The recent efforts by the U.S. Congress to explore regulation and legislation have led to some questionable tactics and even more questionable statements. For example, the House Subcommittee on Commerce, Trade and Consumer Protection held a hearing on June 14 called Violent and Explicit Video Games: Informing Parents and Protecting Children, and I tuned into the Webcast to see just what these politicians talk about during these hearings. In this case, lawmakers discussed everything from Christian movies and Pong to red light districts and the Dixie Chicks. Subcommittee Chairman Rep. Cliff Stearns kicked it off.

STEARNS: "Good afternoon, the subcommittee will come to order." Sweet.

STEARNS: "My colleagues, the rise of computer and video games as mainstream entertainment has been nothing short of meteoric. U.S. computer and video game software sales reached almost 10 and a half million dollars in 2005 and more than double that in 1996."

I think Stearns meant to say 2005 game sales doubled sales in 1996. But whatever.

Rep. Cliff Stearns

STEARNS: "However, I also note that the top-selling game in 2004 was the infamous Grand Theft Auto: Sans[sic] Andreas..." Well, that didn't take long. Someone needs to tell Stearns its "San Andreas," not "Sans Andreas."

STEARNS: "...which is rated by ESEB as M for mature audience, indicating that the game's content is inappropriate for children under 17 years of age. Grand Theft Auto sold 5.1 million units and pushed out Madden NFL Football from the number one spot. Madden NFL Football was rated E for everyone, suitable for children 6 years or older." Stearns must be a Madden fan. He sounds bitter about losing that number one spot to GTA. I hope he doesn't read my recent anti-Madden rant.

STEARNS: "Mature-rated games continue to be top sellers and continue to push the limits of violence and sexually explicit content every year. Grand Theft Auto, which we will show a few clips of later, include scenes that allow players to make drug deals, solicit prostitutes, gun down and bludgeon and mutilate police and EMS works. And as a finale, they can fly a plane into a skyscraper." Uh-oh - 9/11. Now he's pissed.

STEARNS: "Now I hardly call that educational or creative. This isn't just a game. Building a game around a premise based on very realistic cold-blooded assassinations of innocent bystanders and police - the same law enforcement community that stands guard outside the doors of this hearing for our own protection - is not entertainment in our opinion." Police guards? Oh come on! Stearns is clearly pandering to the audience now. The congressman goes on to say that the "twisted and homicidal" content is more "hate speech than free speech" and calls GTA "cultural pollution" instead of art. I can't say I entirely disagree with his take on recent GTA titles - I think they're pretty tasteless and don't really enjoy them all that much.

STEARNS: "But we are not here today to debate the Constitutional issue surrounding violent and explicit video games. We are here, my colleagues, to investigate some pretty simple and common sense issues - whether parents are getting all the information they need and deserve to make decisions about the purchase of video and computer games, the process by which games are rated and to what extent those games with M-rated or mature content are policed at the retail level both on and off-line." Stearns goes on to toot his own horn by saying his subcommittee has a "long and venerable record protecting children." Then he makes an interesting suggestion by saying that video games that have no place near children should be banished to "the video game equivalent of a red-light district." What a great idea. Think about that for a moment. How cool would that be? Our own red light district! Just picture a giant LAN party downtown with wine, women and GTA...