Scientists develop cyber-crimewatch software

Scientists have developed a new kind of software designed to rat out employees who are committing cyber-crime at work.

According to research over a third of damage done to a company is done by employees who are using inside information for unsavoury purposes.

This is all well and good if the software couldn’t be so easily turned into a program to monitor employees personal lives. It would also be nice if it didn’t assume anyone who wasn’t willing to discuss their private life was up to something.

The way they see it is if someone is alienated or seen to have clandestine or sensitive interests they could pose a serious threat to the security of the company.

So, the Paranoia Program, as we’ve dubbed it, is programmed to scan all emails on the server for a certain group of words. For example, if an employer were to search for social words including “drink” “love” “dinner” and “tonight” it would obviously turn up details on peoples’ private lives. If someone was not discussing their private life it, they would be flagged as being alienated from their co-workers.

Also, if someone was seen to be discussing sensitive topics they’re not willing to discuss with a coworker with someone outside of the company, they could be labeled as having sensitive or clandestine interests.

So if you’re lonely and don’t like to talk about your divorce to your coworkers, you’re a cyber-criminal. Guilty until proven innocent.