Consortium to Invest in Time Travel

Today, a consortium of technology companies lead by Microsoft, Intel, Nvidia, and Niko Mac announced the formation of the Travels In Time consortium. The consortium was founded by the pioneer in flux capacitance, an optoelectronic switch that folds space, Dr. Frank Herbert of the University of Ardknox.

The machine works on the basis of work done in the field of time bending by Professor Barnum of DeVry University in Northridge, California.

"We have examined Professor Barnum's research and can endorse his findings fully. It is pretty clear to anyone with half a pizza for a brain that a quantum metaphysical state of absolution can be recreated inside of a vacuum from a non-Hoovermatic, and thereby induce anti-matter in the fourth dimension, creating origami-like folds in time. Then, yáll can just zip right on through." Said a spokeperson for the WWF.