Northern Rail staff to synchronise watches

Staff at Northern Rail have no excuse for being late now as the company has issued them with 3,000 watches which, automatically synchronise and update via a signal from the UK’s new time signal at Anthorn in Cumbria.

Northern Rail sometimes experiences whole days of delay because just one train in the morning is late, which then causes a domino effect, affecting the whole timetable.

At Northern Rail’s AGM the operator found that a total of ten and a half million minutes were lost on the tracks last year with each minute costing the company £10. While the rail unions welcome the watches and the attempt to improve the punctuality of the service, members of staff believe that the time and money would be better spent improving rolling stock and the current system of staff updating their own watches using the talking clock is sufficient.

Part of the problem with the staff all having he same time is that they can no longer blame human error for delays. Who will people complain to now ? Northern Rail, of course. Cue the onslaught of letters asking them where they get their time from and how come it doesn’t match every Tom and Mary’s kitchen clock.