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Want to win a graphics card? We gotta write this before we go to lunch, so don't expect miracles...

By , Aaron McKenna - Source: Tom's Hardware UK | B 12 comments

13:30, having worked over the usual 1pm lunch hour start, somebody in the higher up nether regions of Tom’s Hardware tells us that there’s two graphics cards to be won and a newsletter to gather names for. Before the already delayed lunch. So, allow me to be the first to tell you to click on the link below. Please ? We won’t get fed unless you do.

No ? Still need persuading ? Tight f… Anyway, the two cards on offer are a Sapphire Radeon HD3870 and a HD3850, and the only price of entry is your email address, so that we can send you our no doubt wonderful newsletter (can you eat it ? If you printed it on edible paper maybe.. ? This feels like one of those TV shopping channels… YOU BUY NOW ! ONLY THREE LEFT !!! Please, for the love of all that is good in this world, let us go to lunch, sign up now, win win, etc. I’m so hungry…)

If you don’t, we’ll trace your IP and come round to… Eat what’s in your fridge. Yeah. Take that. We’re getting a whole two days Christmas holidays to do it. You’re just going to be screwed when we turn up to sit down with the in-laws Christmas day. Mess with your tree, steal the kids’ presents and give them woolly jumpers and socks in return. So, instead, maybe you want to win a graphics card ? Seems like an easier prospect.

Can you tell we’re very hungry and at least one of the editors writing this is drugged up to his eyeballs ? Yes, the winter months are harsh on our sickly technology editors. [It’s antibiotics, in case you were wondering. He had them fed right into his veins last week. No joke. –Ed] So, for your chance to win, CLICK, CLICK NOW. God I’m so hungry... I could eat my colleague...

If all that didn’t convince you, here’s a joke : Why did the feminist cross the road ? A. To win the graphics card B. To let me go to lunch C. Why shouldn’t she ?

Answers on a postcard to the usual address, the usual address being contained within our newsletter, which you can subscribe to (as well as being in with a chance to win stuff) below. Let this be a lesson to management to never, ever, bloody ever make us work late and then do even more work, particularly anything requiring a modicum of creativity and persuasion.

14:01, we’re going to lunch 14:02, crap, now we’re going to lunch. 14:05, why am I still here ?

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  • 0 Hide
    spuddyt , 17 December 2007 22:50
    becauase your dumb? :p 
  • 0 Hide
    JMcEntegart , 17 December 2007 23:19
    Be nice! Didn't your mother ever teach you if you don't have anything nice to say, you should at least say it with correct grammar?? :p 
  • 0 Hide
    ubermoose , 17 December 2007 23:57
    You're not funny.
  • Display all 12 comments.
  • 0 Hide
    stom , 18 December 2007 03:46
    I'd say she is! One of the only THG editors that actually responds to feedback and the like, I hope there was enough lunch left by the time she got away.

    (Yes, I joined the mailing list)
  • 0 Hide
    polarity , 18 December 2007 06:56
    If you don’t, we’ll trace your IP and come round to… Eat what’s in your fridge.

    I hope you like mustard. That's all there is in my fridge. Three jars, English, Dijon and Whole Grain.
  • 0 Hide
    JMcEntegart , 18 December 2007 15:59
    "You're not funny."

    That's more like it!

    "I hope you like mustard. That's all there is in my fridge. Three jars, English, Dijon and Whole Grain."

    I don't know if this is a cunning plan to keep us away or if you really do only have mustard in your fridge... Either way, we're dedicated editors...Nothing will stop us. Not even if it means consuming a hearty condiment meal...

    Dibs on Dijon!
  • 0 Hide
    JMcEntegart , 18 December 2007 16:00
    Should that be condiment-orientated meal? Answers on a post card, please.
  • 0 Hide
    spuddyt , 18 December 2007 19:57
    the problem is, mustard is the piss of the devil, so i dont really want any
  • 0 Hide
    JMcEntegart , 18 December 2007 22:27
    which is why you're not an editor! :p 
  • 0 Hide
    optical10 , 19 December 2007 05:13
    Didn't we enter this comp a few weeks ago? Or do we forget that entry and just enter a fresh today? thanks
  • 0 Hide
    JMcEntegart , 19 December 2007 05:54
    If the prizes were the same then it's the same contest. If you've already entered, don't enter again, bad things will happen! ;) 
  • 0 Hide
    Shlumpledink , 3 January 2008 18:35
    Best article ever. I subscribed to the newsletter and gave it to my family as presents, thank you.